C.S Lewis

These first few pages of chapter one introduce my to a side of C.S Lewis that I had yet to experience. He is discussing one of the most desperate times of his life. He is to this point of grief that is causing such depression. His heart seems weary. "For those years H and I feasted on love,every mode of it solemn and merry, romantic and realistic, sometimes as dramatic as a thunderstorm, sometimes as comfortable and unemphatic as putting on your soft slippers." There are several things I wanted to identify out of this passage. First, I love the fact that he calls his wife H. I am unaware of her name in these first few pages and this makes it almost like a secret between him and his wife. It was something they shared that I am becoming apart of. Another thing I would like to point out is that he discusses love and all of its forms. He views it as both beautiful and tragic. It is this idea that we americans have that love is only kisses and hugs but clearly it is not simply JUST those things. It is about something deeper than that. The imagery of those pages really pop out to me and paint me this scene of beautiful tragedy.

C.S Lewis talks about God in these pages and it seems to me that despite his tragedy, He can still sense God. His heart is beyond broken but he has this hope in Christ even in the depths of his despair. It really is quite beautiful, having hope in God despite circumstances. He talks about reliving these moments in his head at which he can visually see H doing the simplest of things, but at the moment that idea of them make it feel so much more complex than that.
This book really is honesty, and in its transparency it is beautiful.

I think this book reminds me of This Blessed House in the way that some of the feelings Lewis is having of rethinking things reminds me of Sanjeev. He replayed memories in his head of how things are and how they previously were. He recalls the moment he fell in love with Twinkle and now he is questioning everything. I find this similar to the images and thoughts Lewis is having towards H. He knows that he loved her but he wonders if perhaps it is all just an illusion.